YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
