Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize