in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
