I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
