Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
