Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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