DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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