i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize