Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
