I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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