She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
