i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
