the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
