You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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