Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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