Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
