i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i've created a new STD.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Randomize
