ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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