I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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