May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
