she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
