I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Terrible idea I love it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
