Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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