Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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