dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
