i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
