The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
