i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm always down for nudity.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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