awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
