Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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