she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
