it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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