Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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