Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
