i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love having hate sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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