All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize