I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
