I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
