When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
