haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize