I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
