My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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