i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
