brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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