Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
