"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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