All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
