Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
