Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
