He uses pillows to masturbate.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize