I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
