you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
