you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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