don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
