she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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