New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My dick has a subreddit
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
