pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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