She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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