Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
