what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
