At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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