Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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