i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
