Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
