Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
