he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
