So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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