I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
