he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
