yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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