the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
