Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
